ON THE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE...

... BY CRAIG CANTONI

“Are you going to watch the debate between Obama and McCain?” my wife asked me last night. “No,” I responded, “why would I watch a glib, smart Marxist debate a dimwitted progressive/militarist about the best way to destroy the country?”

“I’ll miss you,” she said sweetly as she took her Paulaner Hefe-Weizen beer upstairs to our second family room.

Later, she came downstairs, kissed me on the cheek, and joined me in watching the History Channel.

“So, honey,” I asked while sipping a margarita, “did the candidates say how they were going to address the $60 to $90 trillion in unfunded liabilities of the federal government without printing money?”

“No,” she said.

“Did they question the morality of bequeathing our son and other Americans under the age of 18 with a million dollars or so in debt apiece?”

“No.”

“Did they say how many of the 700-plus military bases we have around the world they are going to close?”

“No.”

“Did they promise that our son would never be drafted into the Army and have to risk his life on behalf of Israel or Taiwan, or some other foreign country or religious fable?”

“No.”

“Did they say that there are only two ways of avoiding future economic catastrophes: one, by passing a twenty-eight amendment banning all subsidies, handouts, entitlements, unequal tax rates, and regulations that favor some people over others; and, two, passing a law requiring the Federal Reserve to never let the growth in the money supply exceed the growth of GDP?”

“No.”

“Did they have Rep. Ron Paul’s understanding of monetary policy?”

“No.”

“Did they square their nostrum about the need for people to serve the common good with their policy of using force to extract money from some people for the benefit of other people?”

“No.”

“Did the two statists say how silly it is for the public to worry about greedy corporations instead of greedy government; especially when corporate profits, which keep us from having an economy like Cuba’s, are about six percent of national income and government is about 44 percent of national income?”

“No, but let’s stop talking about the debate and go to bed,” she said with a suggestive look.

No debate from me,” I said with a smile, not knowing or caring if it was the Paulaner or my questions that triggered the suggestion.